Round the world with Sarah & Dan

“What the Fuck?”

February 15th, 2008 Posted in China

After a series of unfortunate events, Daniel and I decided that the first and most important phrase you must know when traveling in China is - “What The Fuck?”.  If you can say this in Mandarin, you’ll be able to address the absurd and downright crazy actions of some Chinese people.  For example:

  • A freakish Tibetan sandstorm delays your flight by 31 hours.  The airport is devoid of helpful people, and you’re only informed about the delays until after the 8th hour - what the fuck?!
  • The queue to purchase train tickets during the madness of Chinese New Year is at least an hour’s wait.  30 minutes into it, people start blatantly cutting to the front of the line - what the fuck?!
  • 5 hours into a 25 hour train ride, someone ties a still alive-and-shitting chicken underneath your seat.  It absolutely reeks and when agitated likes pecking at your leg - what the fuck?!
  • On that same train, a man who looks like he hasn’t showered in a week decides to sleep with his greasy head resting on your shoulder - what the fuck?!
  • While you’re takng a nap on a table, and someone decides it’s a good idea to sit on the aforementioned table so that their ass crack is perfectly aligned with your nose - what the fuck?!
  • The train station sells over 40 standing-room-only tickets per train car for that wonderful 25 hour train ride - what the fuck?!
  • The grandmother sitting across from you repeatedly hulks up phlegm and spits them right at your feet - what the fuck?!
  • The local market is selling bloody, vein-covered muck that I swear looks like fetus - what the fuck?!
  • You check in to a hotel room for all of 5 minutes, decide not to stay, and the owner demands that you pay for a 1/2 day - what the fuck?!

Fortunately, things have turned up for us, and we can laugh about these situations now.  For it’s the perils of traveling that are half of the adventure. 

  1. 6 Responses to ““What the Fuck?””

  2. By Rachel Pattison on Feb 15, 2008

    OMG… I laughed outloud the entire time I read this! I’ve been looking at your pictures and keeping up with the two of you. It sounds like you are having a blast… well minus this entire post. Keep taking amazing pictures and making memories! :)

  3. By Misha on Feb 15, 2008

    Best post ever. I was reading this in the office and dying with laughter. I’m glad things have turned around for you guys! Looking forward to many more posts and pictures! :)

  4. By Jaime on Feb 17, 2008

    Well, what the fuck?! Sounds like a crazy trip. I love reading the stories and looking at the pics. Definitely sounds like you are having fun…I want in on the next trip. Love you guys. Take care.

  5. By Half-Past Kissin' Time on Feb 18, 2008

    Wow–This is your idea of “adventure?” Scary :) Good for you that you can laugh; you’re open to the experience, and that will make your trip more than worth it.

  6. By Elissa on Feb 25, 2008

    Dan and Sarah! Thanks so much for sharing - I LOVE reading your adventures, and your pictures are wonderful. You’ve gotten me so amped to travel again. Must be the chicken shit. Woobie and I miss you and Pogo! Thanks for Lhasa! I’m a regular at your site now, and my friend Kate printed out your entire blog and took it home (she doesn’t have web). Take good care! Love, Elissa (PS TOTAL fantasy, but I spent about an hour on Saturday looking up flights to the Yunnan province city that begins with a K.)

  7. By julie on Feb 26, 2008

    It might comfort you to know that your “What the Fuck?” moments aren’t all relegated to that part of the world…

    My brother encountered an older woman traveling the green line of the MBTA with a live chicken just a week or two ago.

    Not to minimize your adventures or anything. :)

    Seriously, it sounds like a wonderful trip. Keep on enjoying!

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